Abed : "It's very dangerous. We've lost our Cliff Clavin. Our George Costanza.
Our Turtle. Or Johnny Drama. Or E. Man, that show is sloppy."

Troy: "Are you sure it's the name of my grade school and my favorite soft drink?"
Abed: "Yup. Pretty sure."
Troy: "George Washington Lemon Fresca. That's a horrible porn name!"
Abed: "I don't make the rules."
Troy: "What's yours?"
Abed: "Henry David Thoreau Diet Squirt."

Abed: "Hey. You're my friend, right? Friends are supposed to help each other, no matter what!"
Troy: "Okay."
Abed: "Ridiculous situation descending into heavy-handed drama for the illusion of story. Check."

Abed: "Pierce's universally recognized social flaws made him the scapegoat, a lightning rod. Now he's gone, so there's lightning everywhere."
Troy: "That sounds dangerous! My uncle was struck by lightning. You think it'd give you superpowers, but now he just masturbates in theaters."

Abed: "Smashing the guitar of someone singing a cloying love song was on my quintessential college experience list."
Annie: "Your what?"
Abed: "It's a list of everything that movies have taught me comprises a successful first year at college."