Pacific
00:00
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04:47
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1. |
Azimuth of Sunrise
04:02
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Snapping a green branch from a dead tree
to find the juice of memory.
Snapping a green branch from a dead tree
to find the juice of memory
while the pigments of the present
soak the blotter of your history.
From a flyspeck in the year dot,
a fiber through the fabric.
From a flyspeck in the year dot,
a needle through the cloth.
Where once there was no passage
now there is a swath.
Only singing, no question.
Only color, no eyes.
Then the hinging, the cardinal,
azimuth of sunrise.
Snapping a green branch from a dead tree
to find the juice of memory.
Snapping a green branch from a dead tree
to find the juice of memory.
At the moment there is nothing,
a bright red bird breaks free.
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2. |
Pacific
04:47
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I.
Can you speak
or will you demur again,
wondering, as you cough
that long martyr’s itch from your throat
and spit it, humbly enough,
to the verge
if this habit of treading lightly
is a monk’s or a cowards,
if your soft, patient sidesteps
sleepwalk quietly towards Calvary
or pass like miracle kernels, undigested
through the system.
There! Ocean winds blast
this bright little garret room.
Salt water chugs behind a smooth, dry
freeway with its throat swelled
and sputtering to the new moon
a good righteous mess
like God loves.
II.
Spring tide
You feel the high water in your stomach,
the exuberant obscene froth taking to the air in soapy clouds
as she drives her gaze calmly
through the open casement—
She is tracing upper lines
in the architecture downtown,
calculating.
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3. |
Bonneville
06:01
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On the road again and dreaming of the cellar at Oak St.
All the heavyweights are there
quaffing highballs out of chipping tumblers,
maudlin as mangled silverware,
barefoot ancestors milling round that monstrous furnace,
everyone of them an angel or a clown.
Everyone of them has maimed his feet on shards of broken glass;
not one among them dares look down.
Crossed the flats after Salt Lake,
hypnotized by the road last night.
A frigid hotel room near Bonneville,
sleeping in the shallows of the chase lights.
Polycarbonate crescent moon
gamboling across the state line
awake before the sun,
cold breakfast on the run,
goodbye—
Flee to the hills, don’t turn around
trust the charisma of the mountain:
Pilot peak, biting the dawn,
screams You’re wider than a wound,
more than a monument,
and loftier than a pillar of salt.
but I stole a glance—you can still see the track
where death came nipping at the Donner party’s back
and I just don’t know—I feel so exposed
like the pulpit’s open to me
but the book is closed.
Lightning flash from the interior,
intestines tangled in a rage,
Jack-in-the-box hoodoos on the canyon walls,
migraines coiled in the sage.
It was so achingly quiet
when I ran out of gas at sundown
that my heart began to weep
and the future fell asleep
for now.
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4. |
Rest
04:49
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Under the clear bell of weariness,
Too heavy to scuttle from the walls
with the crumb-seekers, I’ll sink into
the sick, sweet lead which holds all love,
whole but frozen, in timeless foreclosure,
and I’ll find, somewhere in the house
—soon, now, in this exact light—
your first glance
tripping a chord through my nerves.
If I couldn’t feel your lamp burning,
I don’t know how I could ever rest.
If I couldn’t rest, I wouldn’t wake to find your lamp burning,
and know how it is,
nesting in the eaves,
I come to rest.
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5. |
Virga
02:13
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6. |
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THE BALLAD OF HEARST & HERRIMAN
Hearst and Herriman stand on a stone lip
casing Coconino, shadowless at noon.
It’s an image that returns when the sun rejoins the city
towards the flower moon.
Hearst says:
Oh! It’s so vast and so strange,
the lunar silence of that southern range.
I cannot read it by the light of day.
I don’t even see it until I step away.
But if I view it from a lesser height,
I can embody it in black and white.
No one knows what we’re looking at,
so why not spin a little gold from that.
And Herriman says:
Don’t look down. Don’t look down.
And Hearst says:
You furnish the balloon heart,
I’ll furnish the brick.
I need something to strike at;
I’m feeling a little sick.
We’re not learning to read here,
we’re not learning to write.
We’re learning to be fearless.
We’re learning to fight.
We don’t wait for fear to crush every last implement
we’ve painstakingly gathered—they’re not heaven-sent.
We don’t wake in dread to the reporting of shots,
we wake to read a table spread with bricks of thought.
[Herriman:]
Don’t look down!
And Hearst says:
Looking down is easy! It’s looking across
that makes me dizzy like I’m on the sauce.
Oh, but I am awake, and wakefulness is hard!
It is a luxury you can’t know
if you never leave the brickyard.
And Herriman says:
Wakefulness is a snow drift
on the horns of the moon.
Anyone can look up,
but you have to look up.
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7. |
Hidden Well
06:14
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You're hidden well
sunk down, earthbound
without a handbook to decode
I know
I only try to float
You're hidden well
The grass hid the way in; I fell
Saw just too late
Mistake
Distance in this space is
changing
Well-hidden
And I reach down
I reach down
How did you drop so deep?
You're hidden well
You stretch for miles
It's surely overspill
You're no sugar pill
But you soften
Similarly slippery
You didn't want to be found
You didn't want to be
But we're here now
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8. |
Engine
01:28
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In the afternoon,
the silver drone of turbines
from a spent, dripping sky,
the trained fingers of sleep
pinching out the wicks
one by one
until, in the black earth,
the old girl turns over.
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9. |
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On a slipper of purple velvet, I castled
and spent the morning in the tower
where straight lines are sovereign
and the king is safely impotent.
In the winter sun, grasping at proportions,
geometry of fields:
aspect, distance.
(I only wanted to talk to you about life and death)
Mineral smell of cold
illuminating the transom
over a locked door,
no harm, no foul.
I only wanted to talk to you about life and death.
Messy, messy
early stages of cooking at twenty-eight,
Mind spluttering like oil under imagined meat.
There are lies you can tell yourself for years
and no one lets you know.
But you get there.
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10. |
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While I’ve still got steady fingers,
going to suture up the past.
While I’ve still got steady fingers,
going to suture up the past.
Going to use a finer needle:
maybe this time it will last.
Going to catch my lover’s laughter,
tie it on and thread it through,
and if I cannot raise her laughter,
a strand of hair will do.
I know this is a fiction.
That don’t make it untrue.
Going to ask her to be watchful
as the night ticks by.
I can feel my chest constricting
and a hood obscure the sky.
One pull: let’s go home now.
No pulls: let me lie.
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11. |
Dog Day Music
07:32
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i.
Syrupy breeze in this country
of heat, nodding
banks of trees, clouds
massing up from nowhere
like my ballooning edge
this afternoon
—forgive me,
but shut up.
I have no plan.
Let the serried
changes of the afternoon
march right over
these fields of light—
I can’t see a single
spot of earth for the weeds.
ii.
Without music
there is no story. Cottonwood leaves
shimmer even in this dead
heat, like the breath under
thought.
Someone is always winning.
To believe is to forget.
iii.
Quiet music an IV drip of
the most potent serum
leafing out the lonely
afternoon. It burnt
itself clean,
this flecked sky,
thunderless in the end, who
would have guessed it,
and I’m dressed
in black, like a fool.
That helicopter—
I hope they have air conditioning.
And what the hell are they up to
up there?
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Ventifacts Brattleboro, Vermont
Ventifacts is a microtonal songwriting duo comprised of Ben Spees (of The Mercury Tree) and Damon Waitkus (of Jack O' The Clock). This bicoastal collaboration has been developing since late 2019, and released a full-length album in September 2021.
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