A listener called in and said he loved the movie. Robin said she saw it and there was 3 really funny scenes in the movie but there was a lot of boring stuff in between. Benjy came in and said it could have been good if it just had a storyline.
Robin told Howard that Lennox Lewis no longer holds his fight title. He lost to some South African guy over the weekend. Howard said he missed the fight so Robin told him a little bit about it.
Gary found the weekend movie box office takes. ''Freddy Got Fingered'' made a measly $7.3 million. ''Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles'' made only $8 million.
Gary told Howard that he watched the Nickelodeon awards show over the weekend which was hosted by Rosie O'Donnell. Gary said it was funny to see her injured hand all bandaged up and hanging at her side. ''Al Pacino's Baby'' chimed in and said that Rosie's got a fat ass. Howard asked ''Al'' what he did over the weekend. ''Al'' said that he took a crap... He also said he was distracted by Robin's sweet rack.
Rosie's hand became infected after she cut it taking a price tag off of something. Apparently she was told that she could possibly lose the whole hand.
Gary continued telling Howard about the Nickelodeon awards show. Gary mentioned that Lil Bow Wow, Snoop Dogg's protege, went up and thanked Jesus and a bunch of record industry guys like an adult would. He also said that Tom Cruise was the ''special guest'' of the show. Tom came out and shook some kids' hands while Rosie stood behind him yelling his name. He pretended not to hear her but it went on way too long according to Gary.
Howard said that he's had a couple of dreams about his penis being sliced off. Benjy came in and tried to analyze the dream. He said that it's just Howard afraid of losing his power by getting castrated. Howard said that was the worst analogy he's ever heard and kicked Benjy out of the studio. He quickly moved on to something else.
Howard read an article about two 14 year old girls who are suing MTV because they were sprayed with fecal matter at a show called ''Dude, This Sucks''. In the show some guy in the Shower Rangers bends over, pulls down his pants and sprays fecal matter on a few people in the audience. Howard said MTV was just taping the show but they're getting sued over it because they have the money. The show will never air on MTV though. That's part of the deal with the girls.
Howard spent a couple of minutes talking about how he was Father of the year with his 8 year old daughter on Friday. He took Ashley to the Mars 2112 restaurant and had some fun with her there.
Howard said that he's thinking of renting a house out in the Hamptons during the summer but he's having a hard time finding one. He said that the realtor he spoke to told him that there isn't anything available but the newspaper says that people are having trouble renting out their homes this year. Fred has a house he rents out there so Howard might be able to use it. Howard has used Dominic's Hamptons house in the past so he might just use it again this year. He said that it's looking better and better.
Stuttering John came in and said that there was a psychologist on the phone who was saying that Doug must have some hatred for his father, that's why he carries around a picture of him dead. Doug says that he carries the picture around because he hates people who show him baby pictures. When people show him baby pictures, he whips out the dead father picture to get back at them.
Howard said that he'd have no problem getting off to the women that are in the tape. He thinks that with guys it's mostly visual and a hot chick will get a guy off anytime. You can find out more about this tape at OpenMale.com
Howard said that Jillian looks a lot like porn star Janine and people have actually mistaken her for Janine. Jillian said that Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown have mistaken her for Janine a few times. Both of them have come up to her and told her that they really enjoy her movies.
Howard told Jillian that he'd love to get behind her and do stuff to her. Unfortunately she's married. Jillian said that she really loves Howard's show though. Gary said he thinks she's obsessed with him. Jillian said that a few years ago she might have been obsessed but she's calmed down since then.
Howard kept telling Jillian that he'd like to bang her. She really talks too much and Howard said that guys will put up with it now but when she gets old and ugly no one will listen. She's 34 now and Howard told her she's got about 2 more before she hits the wall. Doug Stanhope told her that in 10 years her breasts will look like gym socks full of vomit.
The main reason Jillian came in was to ask Howard a bunch of questions like they ask on her TV show ''The Test''. They ask sexual etiquette questions and have them analyzed by a therapist to see what kind of lover you are. She asked Howard and the crew 6 questions like...
Everyone answered the sex etiquette questions and a woman from Queendom.com analyzed them during a break. Howard had her come in but he got sidetracked for a few minutes. Jillian was talking about how she had Ron Zimmerman on her show. She said that Sean Young was also on and she said that Ron was scaring her sitting across from her. That got Howard talking about how strange Ron is. He said Ron is always on AOL instant messenger trying to get laid but it never happens. Ron thinks that he can get Marisa Tomei but Howard thinks he's out of his mind. Ron apparently told Howard that the perfect woman for him would be Elizabeth Hurley. Howard would never hook up with Elizabeth Hurley. Everyone spent a few minutes goofing on the poor guy before moving on.
Trina St. John from Queendom.com gave her analysis of what's up with Howard's sex life. Howard said she's pretty cute too. She said that she's the test developer on the site. She told everyone that Howard is both naive and confused. She said since Howard said that he always makes sure he gives a woman an orgasm he's naive. She said that only 40 percent of women actually have orgasms ever time they have sex. She said he's confused because he changed a bunch of his answers a bunch of times.
Howard didn't seem all that interested in the whole thing so he got sidetracked again. They all ended up talking about hot chicks and Howard was asked who he'd rather sleep with, Pam Anderson, Heather Locklear or Carmen Electra. Howard said Pam wins every time but then he said that if he could choose between Jillian and Pam, he'd take Jillian. He knows that she's into him so it would be an easy score. He'd have to work hard to get Pam.
You can find out more about Jillian at JilliansWorld.com
Jeffrey went to Boston University so Howard started talking about his own days at B.U. and that he may be setting up a scholarship program for the radio department. He said he started thinking about his career and how he had the opportunity to go and make a life for himself. Now he wants to help fix up the old radio station and make it possible for other kids to get into the program. He said he's had a change of heart about Chancellor John Silber (''the one armed jerk'') who has said some nasty stuff about him in the past. He's going to look past all of that and do something for the college.
During a commercial break Robin told Howard she went to see ''Joe Dirt'' and it was horrible. She said she wanted to like it in the worst way but it was just as bad as ''Freddy Got Fingered''. She said she really likes David Spade but the movie was really bad. She said that it had no story and a bunch of stupid gags in it. Robin said there was some mongoloid guy at the movie and he told her that he likes Spade, so he liked the movie. He also tried to pick her up. Robin said she was wearing sunglasses but he complimented her eyes.
Howard said that after yesterday's show he got e-mail from Ron Zimmerman who was pissed about them goofing on him. He went off on Doug Stanhope, Craig Gass, Robin and Howard. Howard thinks he's serious about being pissed too. Robin said she didn't say anything bad about him though.
Howard said that Jeffrey Ross almost had the Weekend Update anchor job on Saturday Night Live but Jimmy Fallon thought that someone from the outside shouldn't be doing that so he lost out. Jeffrey said that he doesn't want to bad mouth SNL because he hopes to be back on the show.
Howard said there's an article in the paper about Jackie being on ''Son of the Beach'' tonight. Jackie says that he's surprised that he wasn't edited out of the show. Howard said he's really not thinking about it that much and he wouldn't cut him out. Stuttering John said that Jackie thinks that they're still working on negotiations but Howard said that's not happening. No one is talking to him and no one is thinking of negotiating with him.
Jessica Hahn called in and said that she thinks Cabbie may have a strategy that we don't know about and he may be able to win. She thinks that Angry Black will have the stamina he needs but that might not be enough to win.
High Pitch Erik called in and said he's betting on Cabbie to win. Just about everyone in the studio is going with Angry Black. Howard said he's going with Cabbie to win though.
Dominic Barbara said he would take bets with 2-1 odds that Cabbie will win. Howard took him up on the bet even though he thinks Cabbie will win. Robin, Gary, Ronnie the limo driver, the E! crew and others took him up on the good odds. Howard put up $500 while Benjy put up $5.
The official weigh in will take place on Thursday with Michael Buffer being the guest. Cabbie says he's up over 300 pounds and Angry Black is only 195. Cabbie said he thinks he'll knock Angry Black out in the third round. Howard thinks he'll do that only if he passes out and crushes Angry Black under 300 pounds of blubber.
After taking a break Howard came back to talk about how hard the fight is going to be for these guys. Craig Gass did his Ghost of Cabbie's Future impression and said ''What's with the hospital?'' and then said that he can still count ''1,2, 5, 7, 9... Shut your pie hole!'' Howard said it's really tough to throw punches for minutes at a time.
A handicapped guy asked Howard if he could get one of the tickets to the fight. Howard talked to him for a few minutes and eventually broke down and gave him a mercy ticket. The guy explained how he was working 90 hours a week trying to afford a nice house. On the way home one night he fell asleep at the wheel and crashed his car into a tree. He's now a quadriplegic with limited use of his hands. The guy never shut up either. Howard kept trying to cut him off but he'd just keep talking. Howard wants to see how this guy gets around in his wheelchair.
Howard then got interrupted when boxer Iran Barkley called in to ask for tickets to the fight. Howard spent a couple of short minutes talking to Iran and said that he could come to the fight.
After taking a break Howard came back to talk to Mark. Howard said Mark's plastic surgery has made his eyes look like a woman's. He told Mark that his plastic surgeon must have been Stevie Wonder. Robin said she couldn't stop staring at him because he looked so odd. He's stopped dying his hair but someone said it looked even worse not dyed.
Howard talked a little bit about tonight's ''Son of the Beach'' and how Mark plays Schlomo the Homo in the episode. He said Mark is the worst actor you've seen so it's a good thing the show is a spoof.
Howard heard that Mark is engaged to some guy and they're supposed to get married. Mark didn't talk much about it though. He did say that the guy's name is Boris and he's from Berlin. Stuttering John said he saw Mark and his boyfriend at the Friars club the other day and Mark was showing everyone how he was mentioned in a Page Six article.
We learned that Mark has something against Barbra Streisand. He said that she can't sing ''God Bless America'' and the whole country should know that. Why? No one could figure that one out.
Mark also told Howard that he wants to be appointed as Ambassador of Decency by President Bush. Howard told him there's no such thing. He wants the position to be created just for him.
Howard let a couple of phone callers goof on Mark for a few minutes before bringing in Vinnie Favale. Vinnie brought in Mark's CD which contains some of his really wacky songs. Howard played a bunch of them for us and goofed on Mark himself a little bit before wrapping up the interview.
Howard said he went out to the Nobu restaurant last night and it was very busy at 5:45 on a Tuesday night. He said it's a gold mine. Howard mentioned that Robert De Niro is one of the owners of the place and Jeffrey Ross said he saw Bobby D someplace and he was wearing a Gilligan hat and a leather coat as a disguise. Howard said he's given up on wearing disguises himself because he knows they don't work. He then complained about going to Ruby Foos because someone there always calls this photographer who bugs him like crazy when he gets there. He's decided not to go there anymore. Howard said this guy always annoys the crap out of him when he takes pictures. Robin thought this was the same guy that almost got Howard killed but that was someone else who almost ran over him. Howard said he hates looking like a freak while someone yells his name and snaps pictures of him on the street.
Howard said that Chaunce Hayden, who writes for the free ''Steppin' Out'' magazine, always asks hot chicks if they'd date Howard. Howard said that Chaunce recently asked Brittany Daniel if she'd go out with him. Howard read the interview and she said that since Howard is always ''sexually harassing'' and ''exploiting'' chicks she'd never date him. Howard and Robin pointed out that the only reason she was in ''Joe Dirt'' is because she's eye-candy. Howard said she's also on the cover of ''Steppin' Out'' in a thong! And she's talking about women being exploited?
Howard got a letter from a hot high school chick who wants to take Howard to her prom. Howard read the letter and she says she's a big fan. She listens to him every day for over an hour. She said her boyfriend broke up with her recently and now she doesn't have anyone to go with. She's from an all girls Catholic school so it would be quite a sight to see Howard there. The prom is on May 23, a Wednesday, so Howard can't go. Howard said he'd definitely go with her but a Wednesday night is out of the question. Howard said she doesn't look 17 and she must be the hottest chick in the school.
Howard had Gary call the girl, Melinda, and he got her on the phone. Melinda said she's only 17. Howard thought that the picture she sent might be the only good one of her but she said she really looks like that. She's 5'9'' tall and a virgin. She said that's one of the reasons her boyfriend left her. Howard told her that he would love to take her to the prom but he can't because it's on a Wednesday... but he had someone else on the phone who would want to take her... Gary the Retard! Melinda said there's no way she'd take him. Howard asked her if she'd take Beetlejuice. That was a no also. For some reason Melinda hung up while Howard was talking to her about Gary the retard. Howard called her back and said that he might just have to bite the bullet and take her to the prom. Melinda said her phone died, she didn't hang up. Howard said he'd have to leave by 9:30 or 10 so he'd be a lousy prom date.
Melinda told Howard that she won't be 18 until next December and her father won't let her go off to college until she is 18. So she has to go to community college for a year so she can stay at home to be watched over. Melinda's phone crapped out again after a short time so Howard just gave up on trying to talk to her.
Howard was talking about the Miss Universe contest that's coming up soon. Miss France is being questioned about whether or not she's ever been a man or not. Some people think that she may be either a transsexual or a transvestite. Howard said if that is true, he'll tune in to watch the show.
Napster.com is a good place to look for offensive songs according to Howard. He read somewhere that you can find negative songs including ''Gook Ears'', ''Kill all the Jews'' and ''The Gays Gotta Go''. Howard played short clips of all three of those songs as well as some Johnny Rebel ''nig*er'' songs.
Howard took some phone calls for Riley and one of them was Zolar from the Bhavian mother ship. He told Howard about abduction Riley and eventually convinced Howard to give him tickets to the Crazy Cabbie vs. Angry Black fight later this week. Riley thinks that Howard should be taking this stuff more seriously. As Riley was spelling out his name, his unusual speech pattern caught Howard's attention. Howard then spelled out his name the same way Riley was saying it... ahRah, I, eLah, E Y, eMah, A, ahRah, T, I, N. Howard did that a few times but it wasn't clear whether or not Riley got the joke.
Howard said the freakiest thing about it was that the pictures they have of the woman look very much like this girl Calistra that the guy brought in the studio with him last year. Check out the book to see the freaky pictures.
Howard heard that Kendra is dating a member of a boy band but she says she's not. She said she went to the Kid's Choice Awards show with Eric from ''No Authority'' but they're just friends.
Angry Black called in and told Kendra what a skank she is and how he didn't want her ass to begin with. He told her that she's not hurting anyone by turning them down for anal.
Dominic Barbara called in and wanted to place more bets on this fight. He said he wants to bet on how many rounds it'll go. He says he'll give an over-under on 3 rounds. Everyone seems to think it'll go over 3 rounds though so there might not be any bets on that.They're also thinking of betting on whether or not anyone will go to the hospital or, possibly, die.
Dominic asked if anyone remembers how real the Geraldo Rivera vs. Frank Stallone fight was on the show years ago. Howard said he remembers that he got a sickening feeling when he saw the two of them punching each other that day. Frank beat the crap out of Geraldo and then went out in the streets and stopped traffic with his belt like he'd actually won a professional fight.
Someone told Howard that Kendra said she'd like to marry Mike Gange from E!. A couple of years ago she dated him and then bad mouthed him on the air but now she says he's the type she'd like to marry. Howard asked her if she'd give up porn to marry him and she said yes! People told Gange he should just bang her for a few years and enjoy it. Gange says he doesn't want to get married though.
Howard killed a few minutes by listening to a song he heard his music director playing in the hall. It's a remake of Peter Cetera's ''Glory of Love'' song that he thinks will be a huge hit. He played the whole thing and said he likes it. Robin didn't enjoy it though. When the chorus came in it sounded kind of gay to Gary. Howard never mentioned the name of the band but I've been told it's New Found Glory.
Howard finally got to the trivia game. He asked a total of about 30 questions alternating between Gary and Hank. Hank, who was extremely drunk, ended up beating Gary by a few correct answers. Gary is scheduled to appear on VH-1's Rock and Roll Jeopardy sometime in the near future so this was good practice. Here are a few samples of the questions they were asked:
John the Stutterer, another Rock and Roll trivia buff, called in and said he could beat Hank. The two of them ended up calling each other names and yelling at each other for a few minutes.
Through the whole game Hank was on the edge of his seat almost falling off because he couldn't keep his balance. Toward the end of the segment Howard had KC take Hank out of his chair and put him on the couch. At one point Hank put his head down and passed out. He fell asleep and started lightly snoring. Hank's manager, Doug Goodstein from E!, came in and said he's never seen Hank like that. Then they started talking about how Hank is in love with Doug's wife Marlo, who's really hot (check out HankTheDwarf.com under Hank's Posse for a pic), and he does some very inappropriate things when they go out to dinner. While Doug was talking about the things Hank does to Marlo, Hank awakened from his short nap. He said he'd never do anything to hurt Marlo. He then asked what time it was. Someone told him it was Saturday at 1am but he knew better. Howard told him it was February 2010 and that he's Rip Van Winkle.
A listener called in and told Howard that Hank's liver is failing and that's what caused him to pass out so quickly. He suggested that Hank go to a doctor and get his enzymes checked to see just how sick he really is.
Kendra Jade gave Hank a flash of her breasts and he got his second wind. He said that he was awake again after seeing that. Howard then wrapped up the segment and said that you can see Kendra at Al's Diamond Cabaret in Pennsylvania. Hank stuck around on the couch through the Robin's news.
Howard said he was in a really foul mood after the show yesterday. When he walked out of the studio he saw High Pitch Erik standing in a doorway waiting for him to come out. Howard had KC shove him in a room and close the door so he wouldn't bug him. Howard said his day never ends either. He said he sits in his car sometimes and gets violently angry at some people. He said that Ralph has no pressure in his life and it pisses him off. He also saw his buddy Richie walking his dog and it drove him nuts. Then it took him 45 minutes to get to his apartment from work. He said he could have run home quicker. He says that people get upset with him when he's in a foul mood and that drives him even crazier. Howard says he now knows why his father was always in a foul mood when he came home from work.
Howard spent a couple of minutes talking about how great Hank was so late in the show yesterday. He mentioned him passing out on the floor after beating Gary at Rock and Roll trivia.
The guy told Howard that he was going to take down his web site, NeoHate.net, but when he heard that Howard was playing his music he kept it going. He also said that he doesn't see all that many Jews since he moved to California from New York. Howard doesn't think he hates the Jews all that much. The guy said that he does hate Jewish women a lot. He might be on the show sometime soon to play ''Guess Who's The Jew''.
Howard said there's no way he could charge his audience any amount of money to get this because it's still so unreliable. When he did get a picture it was really good but it kept cutting out on him. Needless to say, eYada.com won't be carrying the fight tomorrow. Howard also pointed out that all Chaunce wanted was plugs for his little radio show.
After the attempted crash of the site Howard replayed some of yesterday's show when Hank and Gary had their trivia challenge. He also played the part where Hank fell asleep on the floor.
Crazy Cabbie, Angry Black and announcer Michael Buffer all came in to talk about the fight. Cabbie and Angry Black were also getting weighed in. Cabbie was dressed in an Everlast black robe and slippers. He was ready to get weighed in his underwear. Angry Black was going to be undressed by a female friend of his.
Cabbie and Angry Black were yelling at each other and they almost came to blows right there in the studio. Howard told them to save it for the ring tomorrow. Robin said it looked like all Cabbie did to prepare for the fight was grow some more facial hair. He said he banged a lot of hot chicks too. Howard asked Cabbie if he has actually trained for this. Cabbie said he's going to keep that a secret.
Michael Buffer said that the intensity in the room was real and these guys really want to beat the crap out of each other. He told Howard that this guy 2 Ton Tony Gallento almost beat Joe Lewis in a fight because he outweighed Lewis by so much. He did say ''almost'' though. Lewis went on to win the fight after being knocked down.
Sportscaster Brett Haber will be doing the play-by-play tomorrow so Howard had him on the phone. Brett told Howard that if you look at the stats, Cabbie has no chance of winning. But he did point out that the rounds are 2 minutes each and that's the only way Cabbie could possibly last through one round. He seems to be leaning toward Angry Black.
The weigh in happened very quickly and Michael Buffer announced it. Cabbie weighed in at 295 pounds while Angry Black, who had a belly and ''bitch titties'', weighed in at 195 pounds. Some of the people who were going with Angry Black yesterday were questioning their picks after seeing his bitch titties.
Angry Black's ''friend'' Erica helped him take his shirt off during the weigh in. According to the guys in the room, Erica was really hot. Howard asked Angry Black if he can get into her pants. Angry said that he can but he chooses not to. Erica said she's got a man already. Gary offered Erica $1000 to get topless for everyone but she refused. He raised it up to $3000 but she didn't bite. She did however, agree to get into a bikini so she could stick around to watch Green Day perform.
Cabbie is still predicting that he will knock out Angry Black in the third round. Angry Black still thinks he's going to take the fight one way or another.
Boxer Iran Barkley dropped in to check out the fighters. Howard thought that Iran thought today was the fight or something but he's not that out of it. After checking out Cabbie and Angry, Iran told Angry Black that he'd like to be in his corner for the fight. He also told Howard that he thinks Michael Buffer owes him some money. He told a story about how Michael Buffer came up to him 20 years ago and mentioned something about him being in a lot of ''rumbles'' and ever since then he's been doing the ''Let's Get Ready To Rumble!'' thing. Howard said he could see what the under card was going to be... Michael Buffer vs. Iran Barkley.
Howard spent a couple of minutes talking to the guys before they played. Billy said that they had some messages to relay to Howard and Gary. Some people just give them messages to give to the show for some reason. Some guy called Homeless Eric said to say hi to Howard and some chick Karen said she was trying to get in touch with Baba Booey.
Howard said Trey's hair was very high. Trey said that he's high himself this morning. He said he wasn't at liberty to say what he was high on though. Billy said that he was hung over from last night.
Howard asked them about Joey Ramone's passing away. Billy said he wasn't even aware that Joey was sick until they heard he'd passed. Billy said Joey just played a show last Christmas so it happened pretty quick. Billy said rock won't be the same without Joey.
Hank the Dwarf was in a bikini for this segment. Howard said his nuts were hanging out of the bikini bottom. High Pitch Erik came in dressed in a bikini also. His nuts were also hanging out. Angry Black's friend Erica was in a bikini too but she didn't have any nuts hanging out. Everyone said she looked really hot.
Green Day first performed ''Waiting'' from their album Warning. Howard asked Billy what that song means but Billy just said it's about wearing bikini's and hanging out. The boys then performed ''Platypus'' from their previous album Nimrod. When the song was done Trey, the drummer, rolled over his drum set, wandered around the studio aimlessly and then the whole band just left the studio.
Crazy Cabbie was all pumped up after hearing ''Platypus'' so he was yelling and screaming about how great the band is. Howard said they're playing at Hammerstein Ballroom on June 27. Tickets go on sale tomorrow.
Howard spent a few more minutes talking to Hank, High Pitch Erik, Cabbie and Angry Black. Cabbie and Angry went at each other a little more. Cabbie, as always, plugged the Cane show, Monday to Friday, 6 to 10 on New York's K-Rock. He also gave out his e-mail address CrazyCab@hotmail.com for the millionth time. Howard wrapped up the segment and said Hank's nuts hanging out sure looked uncomfortable. Someone called it ''hanging brains'' as they went to break.
After the break Howard said he'd forgotten to give away a prize that he had. It was a trip to Illinois to see a WWF event. KC came in with some Hitler Trivia so Howard got a caller on the phone to play. He had to get 2 out of 3 true or false questions correct to win. Here are those three:
Hank the Dwarf and John the Stutterer hung around during Robin's news segment. The two of them yelled at each other throughout the news. Howard had to threaten to throw John out a couple of times because he wouldn't shut up and let Robin read her stories.
The craziness started right away. The Rappin' Granny was there yelling out her rambling rap before she was asked to do so. Howard shut her up and quickly moved on. Gary told Howard they have some controversy already. He said Angry Black was supposed to be there at 5:30 but he wasn't there yet... 30 seconds later he walked in though.
Nicole Bass, Crackhead Bob, KKK guy Daniel Carver, Fred the Elephant Boy and Don King were some people who were mentioned as being guests. Howard said that the Jumbotron out in Times Square was broadcasting the fight this morning without audio of course.
Vinnie Favale was in this morning and Howard said he's responsible for getting the fight on this jumbotron thing. Vinnie said it's the CBS jumbotron on 8th Ave. and 42nd St. This fight is the first thing to be broadcast on it too. Crackhead Bob did the big ''Ladies and gentlemen, throw the switch'' speech for the big moment. It was more like ''Daydies dand dentlemen... dow da bitch.''
Michael Buffer was there to do the announcing and Howard said he forgot to plug him on yesterday's show. LetsRumble.com is the site he wanted to plug. Howard spent a couple of minutes talking to Michael about his now-famous voice and how much money he's worth. Howard said he gets some really odd announcing gigs too. He's going to be announcing a fishing tournament or something like that. Gary said that he's even announced at a church!
Howard talked to Beetlejuice who was dressed up like Don King this morning. Beet thinks that Cabbie will win today. Dominic Barbara also thinks that Cabbie will win so Howard spoke to him for a short time.
Slow Adam was there rooting for Angry Black to win. He said that Angry Black will drop Cabbie in the 5th round.
Fruity Nutcake the Rapping Granny's manager Neil Berliner was there as well as the fight Doctor, Dr. Fiorello. Dr. Fiorello said that he will be able to stop the fight at any point where it looks like one of the fighters is in trouble. His wife was also there who must have looked pretty hot because Howard said she looked like a Barbie doll.
Boxer Gerry Cooney was there and he said he thinks the fight will be close and it might not go more than one round. Boxer Iran Barkley told Howard that you always ''bet on black'' in a fight. Daniel Carver didn't agree though. He always bets on white.
Gay Ramone was there with his ass hanging out of his pants. Mariann from Brooklyn came in to sing the National Anthem before the fight. She gave us a quick sample too. It's going to be just awful.
Sportscaster Brett Haber told Howard that his crew has done some research and it looks like Cabbie might have a chance because of the 2 minute rounds with 2 minute breaks. He'll have time to recover between rounds.
Elephant Boy, who left the show for a while, said that he's backing Angry Black today. The Iron Sheik was there yelling about something that was hard to understand. He rambled on and on about something that I couldn't figure out.
Gary introduced the judges for the fight this morning. Hector Camacho, Arturo Gotti and Mark Breland are the judges while Jackie Frazier will be the time keeper. George Ward will be the referee.
Hank beet Gary the other day in Rock and Roll Trivia and John wanted to take him on. Howard went through about 25 questions with the two of them and Hank won once again. John was good but he couldn't quite keep up with Hank. Here are a few samples of the type of questions that were asked:
Slow Adam went nuts when Hank won and even he started yelling at John the Stutterer about being a loser. Everyone was in a fighting mood today.
There were problems in the dressing room shortly before fight time. Angry Black didn't have his cup with him. He said his trainer has it and his car broke down on the way in this morning. Cabbie yelled at him for being a pussy and not wanting to fight today. Angry Black got really pissed at one point and started to walk over to Cabbie's dressing room but he quickly changed his mind. Howard let them go at each other for a few minutes before moving on to special guests Stone Cold Steve Austin and Triple H from the WWF.
Howard spoke to Stone Cold Steve and Triple H for a few minutes about their ''WWF Backlash'' special that's happening this weekend. He then asked for their opinions on what will happen in the fight. Stone Cold said he doesn't know the whole back story about these two but he's going with Crazy Cabbie to win. Triple H said he thinks Angry Black will win. Neither of them think the fight will last very long and there won't be a knock out.
Sal the Stockbroker was in the audience and he suggested that Angry Black use one of Gary's teeth as a cup replacement. Gary reminded us that he challenged Sal to a fight one time and Sal backed out claiming that he has heart problems. Gary and Sal yelled at each other for a couple of minutes before Howard took a break.
Round 1 - Brett Haber was calling the fight and it sounded like Cabbie came out swinging like a nut. He connected with a bunch of wild swings and Angry Black was getting pummeled. Cabbie made about 5 uppercuts connect to Angry Black and it looked like he was overpowering Angry Black. Then Cabbie connected with Angry Black's cup. A low blow! Not good for getting points in this fight. Angry Black went down to one knee from the pain. By the time the bell rang Cabbie was starting to look winded.
Round 2 - After talking about what an exciting round the first one was Howard got back to the action in round 2. Cabbie went down, later saying it was a slip, and stayed down for a few seconds. He got back up and started swinging again. Cabbie kept pushing Angry into the ropes but he was still making connecting hits. Angry was fighting back but Cabbie's weight held him back. After the bell rang Cabbie was bleeding from his left nostril. Brett said Cabbie looked extremely fatigued by this point.
Round 3 - Once again Cabbie was swinging wildly even being fatigued. He kept putting Angry in a head lock and punched him in the back of the head. The referee had to keep separating them over and over again. Both of them were tired. After this round it was still hard to tell who would win. A lot of people thought Cabbie was winning though.
Round 4 - Cabbie came out swinging once again. But this time he made a big mistake by throwing down Angry Black by grabbing his neck and whipping him to the canvas. He taunted Angry Black at one point by raising his arms. Angry smashed him in the face. The bell rang and everyone rested for a couple of minutes.
Round 5 - The final round. Both of the fighters were exhausted. The threw some punches but by the end of the round, Angry Black was on one knee totally exhausted.
Who won? - Both fighters were hugging at the end of the fight. Angry Black said that Cabbie had earned his respect and he was amazed that he had as much stamina as he did. Both of them thought they'd won the fight.
After looking at the judges cards Michael Buffer announced that it was a draw! Cabbie's dirty fighting tactics cost him the fight! Buffer said that the points deducted for his low blow and his almost-knock-down are what lost the fight. We later learned that Arturo Gotti called it a draw, Hector Macho Camacho said Angry Black won while Mark Breland gave it to Cabbie.
There may be a rematch in the future. Angry Black said he'll do it in 6 months but Cabbie was ready for another 5 rounds.
Dominic Barbara said he took all of the money he had for betting and split it down the middle for the two fighters. He said they each get $3000.
The Aftermath - Howard came back from break and said he thinks that Cabbie definitely won the fight. Brett Haber said that Cabbie did it the right way by hanging his weight on him through the whole fight. The referee said that he thought it was the most physical fight he's ever seen and that it was like a WWF match. Triple H told him it was nothing like a WWF match.
Cabbie told Howard that he thought his jaw was broken after Angry Black's first punch. He said he was still in pain. Both he and Angry Black thanked their entourages and everyone that helped them out.
Triple H told Howard that he thinks the judges mistook Cabbie holding on to Angry Black. He said it was more likely him cuddling Angry Black than holding him.
Howard asked KKK guy Daniel Carver what he thought of the fight. Daniel said he's glad Cabbie almost won even though everyone thought he wouldn't make it through the fight. He said he loves it when a white man wins. Cabbie ended up yelling at Daniel about being a bigot and how he doesn't speak for him. Cabbie told Daniel that he had his own KKK... Kiss Kabbie's Krack. He pulled down his pants and mooned Carver.
Howard started to wrap up the show but it was only 9:30. He thanked everyone and asked if they could leave yet. Gary told him what time it was so he took a break to kill a few minutes.
Howard thanked the Scores girls who were the ring card girls. He said quick hello's to Lainy, Dawn, Kerri and Scarlett who were with Lonnie from Scores. Apparently Hank the Dwarf was showing the girls his package while he was hanging out with them.
Cabbie came over and told Howard that someone stole his Rangers jersey from his locker room during the fight. It was autographed and customized just for him and he's kind of upset about it. Howard asked that it be returned and they won't ask any questions.
Cabbie and Angry Black will be on the show on Monday for a post fight wrap up. Howard said they had to ask Kendra Jade not to come this morning because she dissed both of them on the show the other day. Angry Black went off on her calling her a nasty, filthy, skank who will be dead in 3 years from AIDS. Ouch! Howard then wrapped up the show around 10.